Matthew Imitateth a Man from the South. The Names of Matthew's Brethren are Set Forth.

At the end of the 6th month, behold, Matthew and his brethren went unto Salt Lake City, for the wedding of one of the brethren of Matthew was nigh.  And the names by which the brethren of Matthew were known were Kyle, and Tyrell, and Snacky-pooo.
Now, when the day of the wedding had come, Matthew and his brethren did don the clothing that Kyle wished for them to wear.  But while Matthew tarried in the bathroom to smooth the hairs of his head, behold, he did remove his shirt.  And when his hair looked appealing, behold, he exited the bathroom, but he did not take his shirt with him.  But Matthew realized his mistake, and he turneth that he might retrieve his shirt from the bathroom.  But Snacky-pooo had gone unto the bathroom, and now Matthew was without his shirt.  Therefore Matthew took up his suspenders, and he putteth them onto his pants.  Now Matthew wore the suspenders, but he did not wear a shirt, that he might look like a man from the lands of the South.  And his brethren did laugh much at this, and asked that he might speak like unto a man from the South.  And Matthew did as his brethren asked.  And behold, they all laughed much at this saying.
And now Kyle took up the camera and he took a picture as Matthew stood with the suspenders but no shirt, that they all might remember this day.